No one's attacking you. The thing is, you are taking what we have to say not as advice but as attacking, which it isn't. From your reactions, you are positively responding only to posts that make you think there is a chance with your wife, which, unfortunately, there isn't - not at this time or in the near future.
You won't get closure. Ever. You'll come to accept it one day. But closure? That doesn't happen, at least not in the way you want it to.
There is no need to ask her any of those questions. None at all.
And, when she comes out swinging you have indicated she will, if you don't have a lawyer, then you'll a lot more than you think. This isn't about marriage anymore. That's done. This is business and it needs to be thought of that way.
Doing little things like talking to her family, asking questions, etc., will do nothing more than push her that much away. Period. Nothing you can say or do will change that.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
