It's hard to detach as long as I am feeling so slighted
That's anger speaking.
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She wants me to pay her a big chunk of money for the house. She doesn't want to pay me a cent on the previous house we lived in that she owns, and I helped her pay for, for 7 years
Get a lawyer stat. This is all business now. Both houses are marital assets and will be divided as such. Even if the other house was in her name before the marriage, marital money paid into it during the time of the marriage means that you are entitled. Ask a lawyer.
Number 1 - 4 are irrelevant. No need to even think about them at all. Remember, this is all a business. Get your ducks in a row because she will...and she will hammer you if you aren't careful.
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am thinking of contacting her to first make sure she understands that I believe we can rewind to a happy time in our marriage, despite whatever could have happened since then.
Why? It won't serve your purpose.
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My questions/statements to my wife will be
Once again, why? What is your end goal for this? To make her see the light and return to action? Because that's how it reads to me.
1 - If you ask her if she is happy, then you better be prepared for the answer...and she may very well say yes. 2 - Wishing to rewind? Why ask that? The past cant be returned to. Don't even go there. Know what she would say? NO. 3 - Dude, I don't even know what to think about #3. 4 - You can't magically erase the past just as she can't. What you are desperately grasping at is the memory of what she was, not the person she is. She is not that person anymore and never will be. Once again, nothing will be gained by asking this. 5 - If she continues to say she wants out, we can't get over what has happened, etc., then I will offer to sign the papers if she drops what she is asking by half. That way she can have her freedom from me. She wants her freedom now. How much does she want it? Doesn't work that way, my friend.
See, she doesn't think like you...so what you think makes sense, doesn't to her. Be prepared for things you do not want to hear.
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I have to be careful to not say that I forgive her, even though I do forgive her, even though I'm mad sometimes, to avoid legal problems with that.
Sorry, but this makes no sense. First, holding stuff in is counterproductive. And then there is the whole forgiveness thing...you are mad, and anger doesn't correlate with forgiveness. Now, the real question that you need to sit down and answer is: why? Why are you fighting so hard to keep someone around that doesn't want to be there?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
