To me, her not knowing and continuing the relations with OM is making her choice. I can’t/won’t stick around and be her doormat as bad as it hurts. Am I looking at this wrong?
I think you know the answer. You need to detach. Stop meeting her, stop texting her. She's trying to have her cake and eat it too. She isn't even hiding that fact. Don't make yourself an option, make yourself a choice. Don't make yourself available to her so she has to actually see what life is like without you.
Of course, this is all if you even want to work on things. You've set a court date and have seemed adamant at times to get divorced. Decide where you want things to go and stick to a plan. Either way though, limit your contact with her as much as possible. She'll just continue coming in and out of your life and put you through heartache. Leave her be and focus on yourself.
