Looking for a miracle.

[roist]

I like Wonka's suggested reply. I am not sure about the talk is cheap comment. The previous sentence mentions words being not enough so that could come across as criticising/judging to W.

Just to clarify is the OM being out of the picture a criteria the girls have mentioned? Technically the two relationships are unrelated and could come exist. The problem as I see it is she abandoned them completely not that she is with OM. Yes they are linked and I in no way endorse OM.

I try to put myself in your shoes. I am not sure I manage to do so fully as how your W left so completely is the exact opposite of my W. She I feel uses her love of our boys as a crutch to get by IMO. Still I understand that it cannot be easy for you. I love that you believe she can potentially make it to where she needs to get to rebuild her R with your girls.

Being defeated before trying is typical depression talking. Unfortunately it creates self fulfilling prophecies that "prove" she was right. Maybe to encourage W to try you could validate this fear: " maybe you ate right, that your first few attempts may not convince the girls to be more open to rebuilding a R with you. It is even highly possible. But over time with consistent and progressive intentions and movement towards them, I am confident you can do this. It will not be easy and it will take time. However like anything important, achieving it will greatly outweigh the effort required. Don't be discouraged from taking the steps forward just because it seems impossible. It is not impossible, just difficult. If you do not try, it will not happen."

Maybe you are not comfortable validating this and encouraging her. Even so maybe a different approach from you could be enough to break the current cycle.

I will raise a glass to you tomorrow. Slainte mo chara.

Best wishes