There is so much to learn on this site and through the books. The best advice I can give is GAL. It is the one thing that saved my sanity through my situation. Good luck!
Me: 38 W: 32 S10 D6 T: 10 (02/2004) M: 7 (12/2007) Separation 02/2015 OM confirmed 01/2015, D mentioned 12/2014 D finalized 9/2016