I had a simple policy of - if it suits me, I'll be more proactive and otherwise more reactive. So, it really suited me to get financials resolved as all my funds were invested in our home and I was 'without' enough money for a couple of years. However, I didn't want to get D'd, so I was rather slower in that area. Not slow enough to be dragging my heals, but I didn't rush you know?

As for your understandable views about marriage, based on your own childhood experience. Was it Budda who said those things we cling most dearly to, we sometimes have to lose? And also, I do think these experiences, and the trauma growth as a result, can help us revisit and heal these painful wounds from our past.

And finally, some situations need to go all the way to divorce in order to start moving forwards - that just seems to be the way sometimes unfortunately. But - even if divorced, I don't believe the situation has been resolved until/unless you decide to close the door.

Take care SBJ smile

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus