I believe a lot of this is true, but I think if the M is strong then there wouldn't be any infidelity. It is only when one spouse feels unhappy or unappreciated that adultery can happen.
I think that's mostly true, and I have said this myself over and over, that my W was vulnerable because she felt unappreciated and unloved, and I had no idea how much she felt this way. I thought she was happy.
Originally Posted By: SAL27
I am sure there are a lot of couples who have survived infidelity, but I wonder how many of those were just "one-night stands" compared to an actual EA and PA? Seems to me that it takes a lot for an individual to carry on an A of any kind. They have to live a double life. They have to become someone who lies to so many people that trust and love them. They have to live with the constant fear of getting caught. Therefore, IMO, they would have to be completely done with the M in order to become this person because of the fact that their M's would most likely be over anyway once it was discovered. Not too many people would take back a cheating spouse.
I think my wife just had an EA, that probably started some time in the fall, and then later possibly turned into a PA before she left me. I don't think she really lived a double life. I think she became close to a--hole, and then right after our anniversary, right before she went cold on me, either they progressed it to sex, or they decided to leave their marriages for each other, or both. One or both of those things I believe is what triggered her going cold on me and building the wall of hate. She didn't seem to want me and a--hole at the same time. I think she wanted to date him and see if he was a good prospect before stepping off my ship onto his, though. And I believe she mostly dated him at work. That's one of the problems with work; because people spend so much time at work, it's very easy for them to see other people there more than they see their own spouses.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
