She is rewriting history to make herself seem more innocent (talking as if we were basically divorced at the time of the PA) or noble (talking like she ended the affair because it was hurting people).
That she's able to twist things and, I think, genuinely believe them is kind of scary. I really question her mental state with how she talks and what she's done. And I don't know if she has the capability of putting in the hard work a R takes. I'm seeing now how self-centered and selfish she's always been.
I'm sure you probably realize this but people rewrite history in order to protect themselves. No one likes to feel like the bad guy, people in general have a limited willingness to sit around and think about their faults. It's much easier to find a way to make it someone else's fault. It's easier to sleep at night. To some degree its self-preservation.
If you mangle your leg, you walk with a limp. She's mangled her integrity and rewriting history is her limp. Deep down she knows she's doing it. You don't have to worry about her mental state. Working hard to convince herself of her BS is necessary for her to look at herself in the mirror. If she dreams up justifications but doesn't believe in them she's not being very self-serving.
Regarding being self-centered and selfish, that's just insecurity right? That's fear of being inadequate, it's the same type of compensating behavior as the re-writing history, just expressed differently.
Glad to see you're getting out and spending time with friends and family, more of that!
Acc
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
