WH came back. Piecing. Almost at 2 year mark.

[Coconut]

Thanks, Train! I am now thinking that the term piecing does not only mean putting back together, but also doing so in smalll pieces. It's got to be a slow process, one piece at a time. I tend to tackle too much and set myself up for failure.

In DB fashion I am going to keep focusing on me and what I can change. I am excelling in the GAL department; I have lots of new hobbies, activities, volunteer work, friendships, and things I enjoy. I think I am better here than ever before. I am grateful for this and therefore starting to wean off my ADs. I feel happy overall most days. I enjoy my alone time more than ever. I feel stronger and not afraid of losing H anymore because of all this.

As for my 180s, well that is much harder. Here are a few small changes I can make on a daily basis, mostly in my M, but perhaps in all my Rs to an extent.

1. Listen and not interrupt
2. Go along with his ideas even if I think mine are better
3. Tell him when I appreciate something
4. Ask him how I can support him having free time and follow through
5. Initiate affection
6. Not text so much (he hates that)
7. Not disagree or argue in front of the kids
8. Remind myself that being right isn't more important than hearing and understanding others, especially H.
9. Being mindful of the way I talk to others and not to talk at them
10. Letting those little annoyances roll off my back

Ok I think that's more than enough for now!

Blu

Blu,

Working on validating will cover most of these, it forces you to listen so you can understand and repeat what they are saying (can't text when doing that), but I think you also need to find that place where you want to hear what he has to say. I think that is part of the respect and admiration that a man needs, we need to feel that our W is looking to us to make decisions and guide the family unit.

I know you've said that your husband has put in a lot of work to end the nice guy syndrome, but he needs to put that in action when he wants free time. They are your kids too, and if he can't take them somewhere because he needs to do something else, he needs to tell you that or cancel the kids plans. He needs to put himself first sometimes.