was meant to be writing and giving her the apology letter
Why?
The objective is to take ownership of my behaviours and traits that were responsible for making her feel the way she felt. Showing empathy that I get how I made her feel, and I know that things have to change. That's it. Just I'm sorry for xxx which made you feel yyy, but using the words she has used to me rather than rewriting it in my words.
However, I was told to give this letter when things are on an upswing - I've blown that for a day or 2.
Plus, I know I shouldn't, but I still want to five the EAP a hard time...
I have a really big philosophical and practical problem with some of this thinking woke up.
Firstly, you and I don't have the power to make anyone else feel anything. Gracious I can scarcely manage my own state most of the time. It's control and magical thinking, others do and feel as they do.
So, you can let yourself off the hook for this. It's a big deal when you let go of the need to be right and have the power over others. Truly it's releasing.
Let W feel whatever she wants to. It's her right and her choice not yours.
Sit by V and know this frees you to concentrate on you. It's a big job all on its own.
Just saying
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
