Wife left two days before our wedding anniversary!

[leahsue]

Jbroken,
My heart goes out to you! Three months ago my husband dropped a bomb on me with- I need us to be separated, I'm not sure what I want, blah blah- it blindsided me! Like any couple, sure we had our issues but I TOTALLY did not see that coming. It completely crushed me. We separated and I did all of the things that Sandi's rules say NOT TO DO for the first 3 weeks. He slipped further and further away. The more I begged and pleaded the colder he became. THANK GOD I found this website and these people. They talked me off the ledge of being desperate and needy, which in a situation like ours, is VERY unattractive to a spouse who has already said they don't want to be with us right now. Thankfully through my tears I saw the wisdom in the book, the rules, going dark, and the advice of all these people, and in the last couple of weeks he has begun communicating with me again and wants us to see each other again. The advice you'll get in the forum WORKS if you follow it- it may or may not save your marriage, but you will grow and be OK no matter the outcome. And you'll feel better about yourself in the long run. Here's what doesn't work- get a mental picture of this every time you're tempted to beg and plead for them to wake up- a desperate spouse hanging onto the bumper of the other spouse's car as they pull out of the driveway- it DOES NOT WORK! Read and re-read Sandi's rules and begin today to follow them. If you slip up, just dust yourself off and start over. I know the pain is crushing and breath-taking, and there's no way around it, you have to push through it and feel the burn. But it DOES get easier. Post a lot and you'll get lots of support here. And remember, we are all just walking each other home. Hugs!