Not sure where I am so no title!

[Coly23]

Sotto, HaWho, thank you so much for your posts.

Sorry about yesterday, I felt like my emotions were spinning out of control with so many thoughts and fears running through my head. All unfounded obviously!

HaWho, all my devices have passwords on them and he has never asked to use any of them so far. I also I didn't go back to him till today about Friday so it did help to wait before I responded. Yesterday I was ready to tell him I'm throwing in the towel and to never contact me again!

Sotto, it is very difficult when he arrives and when he is about to leave but when he is here it's like the old H. I sometimes have to remind myself that I can't touch him or ask questions about what he is doing etc.

I don't know what to think really. I told H we weren't available on Thursday and he asked if we were still okay for Friday as he usually comes over Wednesdays and Friday's. I told him the truth which was that D was seeing friends on Friday so wouldn't be around and said it was up to him if he still wanted to come over. I said this as I was sure he wouldn't come over because D would be absent but he said he would still come. He called my bluff - blegh! I'm so confused....