WW wife turned WA what to do? Sandi2 anyone?

[75Shade]

HI Everyone. Brand new here but have been reading for 2 months. Been married for 6.5 years. have 2 kids 6 and 2. Found out in Dec 2016 wife was having an affair with a Sheriff. She told me she wanted to work on it. We went through all the Christmas stuff but I was too hurt and she didn't want to do counseling. She told me it was only emotional. In January I find out it was physical and going on for 9 months. She had been rebellious and secretive. Attacking me about everything for months. She told me he was her shining star, etc. She treated me terribly after this and said she wished she would have taken it to the grave. Turns out her mother told her she had an affair on her step father when they were young and just disclosed this to her at the same time this affair started.

Anyways she was pretty mad I didn't keep it a secret. And we went on for about 6 weeks where she wouldn't go to counseling. We went to 2 sessions and then did a private session. She said after the private session that she didn't want to go anymore. Her mother told me because the counselor told her it wouldn't be the best choice for the children.

I asked her to be open about where she was going and to clean up her social media. But then later I got upset and said I wanted a divorce and she agreed. We went about 2-3 weeks planning everything and then I woke up one morning and felt this new found energy. I text her and asked if she wanted to still divorce and she said yes. I told her I cant change your mind but you wont change my values. And I left it at that. Ever since I have been sticking to Sandi's list of ways to handle WW. She told me she wanted to now pause on selling our properties. But hasn't said she wants to work on it. I don't think she is still seeing the other man now. I can just tell because she is not dressing up as much or going out. But she probably still thinks about it. Whenever she talks she tries to make it a point that she is staying at her mothers and to call her anytime for help with the kids on my night.

Do I continue to treat her as WW? I feel like it is working. I am actually moving into our apartment building soon. She bought me lunch the other day. I don't know what to do. I don't really want her back like this, I really want some kind of serious apology and the offer to do counseling. But I haven't seen her hit any kind of wall or low point. I think she is getting overwhelmed by finances. She had no idea how much I did. I was not appreciated.