(((Skm))) hugs to you my dear. I really like the advice and support you are getting. These are some awesome people here! The vets that have survived this journey know what they are talking about--even if it hurts, trust them and give it a try.

I am actually glad you listened to the cd. Sometimes a good old fashioned ugly cry can be so cathartic! And now you can check that off your to-do list and just toss it in the trash. Why? Because it won't serve you anymore. It's like cleaning out a closet--it's hard to throw things away, but it feels good later. Then you can dust off your hands and keep on keeping on. Most importantly, it got you thinking.

You have listed some mistakes you made and things you can change. Good for you! This is a great start. I am working on this too. It's what we are all advising you to do--focus on you, what can you change, how can you do it, and then you can savor in those feelings of confidence. All of this is in YOUR control. As you master this, you will slowly start to detach. You don't have to feel terrible and have regrets--that won't serve you--but you CAN think about how to make those changes moving forward in all your Rs.

As you detach, and as you grow and get stronger, you also increase the odds of attracting him back. So let's start with your list. Can you elaborate on why you did these things and how you can change them moving forward in general, not just relating to him. What 180s and GAL do you want to adopt in your life with or without him?

You are on your way now! One foot in front of the other. Its like weaning from the ventilator with COPD and PNA---there needs to be healing, time, and practice but we will get you extubated eventually!

Blu

“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela