I would not respond to the issues, feelings or examples she laid out, but I respond to her just to let her know that you will box up the items and get them to her (give to a mutual friend, mail, etc.), unless you want the none-personal items like the candle holders and sticks, then tell her you'll box up the pictures.
I would also walk around the house and see if there is anything else you think she might want that you don't, give her whatever you don't want so that she doesn't keep using that as a way to keep contacting you.
I'm sorry to hear about your story, it's so hard to look back and question everything, to wonder if anything was real, and question if you were really such a bad person/husband. You will go through that, if you haven't already, but it to shall pass.
At this point, your best bet is just to focus on you. It sounds like D may be best for you so that you don't get screwed financially, but don't feel that it means everything is final. Divorce is a piece of paper and doesn't change feelings, if the future holds you two getting back together, it won't matter if your legally married or not, many people get divorced and then reconcile and many other people stay M and don't.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
