She did say 'your not ready to hear it' when I asked 'if you don't love me, just say it'
Jbroken,
Sorry to hear that you are in the mess you found yourself in. Its an unfortunate one that we have all been in. Some found their way out, and some are still lingering in limbo blaming themselves when the blame belongs somewhere else. We've all been there. You have come to a great place with people that will guide you to become the best jbroken you can.
I highlighted your statement because, well, it is eerily similar to something my ex said. While yours may have said it, one must keep in mind that there are different levels of love. She will probably always love you in some form, just not as a wife does. Sorry to throw that out there, but it is what it is.
A couple of weeks before the BD, my ex gave me one of the most romantic anniversary cards I have seen...and it was in the midst of her affair. So, I know what you are feeling.
Only they know their reasons, and we may never know the true ones. Instead of beating yourself up wondering why, now is the time to work on becoming the best you that you possibly can be. Nothing else.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
