WW with affair moved out 4+ weeks ago

[15Stang]

Hi all.
How would you guide me with this email I received? Do I even respond? There is truth to the way I would control in our marriage. This was especially true in the first ten years.

15stang
Thank you for your email. As we both know, we have been working through issues throughout our marriage. Not just the past 3 years. We have had good times, good memories, bad times & bad memories. No marriage is perfect. No person is perfect.

It is unfortunate throughout our years together, there have been too many unhealthy relations between us. You may not agree on this but I have been hurt for quite some time. We have had our struggles for a long time with our communication in connecting with each other & not understanding each other. Our struggles financially. Example: Questioning what I buy with my allowance money when we had an understanding that is my choice. The vacation check paid out for my unused hours. I still feel that should have been given to me. I asked to put that in a vacation fund & without hesitation you said "no". We do not agree on the control you had over this marriage. How very different we were in our personalities. It is hard for you to understand how I did not feel I could be completely myself. I learned how to talk to you. Had to teach myself how to think & what words to say when we were talking. Otherwise, I felt I was being analyzed. It did not seem as if we could just talk & share naturally or easily. This is how I feel. You may feel otherwise.

It was not your fault with what happened 3 years ago. With that said, I have struggled a long time in our marriage. Not just the last 3 years. I am burned out. I am past reconciliation.

I do hope God will bless you someday with a woman where the two of you completely cherish & have a deep love for each other. That intimate connection of sharing honestly & openly you have been talking to me about. I hope the male counselor you have been meeting with helps you in the ways you need.

I did meet with my lawyer on Friday, Mar 10th. There are few things at the house I would like to get if we can agree between the two of us.

1. I have a box of year books/pics from my childhood downstairs. (most important to me)
2. The framed pictures above the stairs from my parents.
3. The wall candle holder in the dining room.
4. Remote for the candles.

Are you ok with me having these items? Please let me know.

You are a good man, 15stang. I did not plan on ever being divorced from you but this is where I am at. This is my choice