WH came back. Piecing. Almost at 2 year mark.

[BluWave]

Thanks, JR. I have kept this place to myself, but you are right, it could help him. He's not very good in the GAL department; he mostly just works, spends time with our kids, drives them to their activities, and occasionally sees friends/famiky or grabs a beer. When he does DB and follow Sandi's rules (by his own nature) it makes it VERY hard to walk away. He's present, he's kind, he's responsible, hes extremely patient, he's a great dad, and he's flexible and generous (because I love my free time)---and so I know I would be a fool to walk away. I understand the strategy, but it still works on me! Lol.

Train! I remember you! I'm so glad you're here! Thank you!

My BD was Summer 2014 and I started reading here often: I remember all of you (25, TO, Starsky, Sandi, Wonka, V, etc) and it's so nice to still read your posts! There were so many sleepless nights and days of paralysis, and the only thing I could do was open my iPad and read along. It helped me not feel alone and I took so many nuggets away from it. Honestly, if I hadn't had this site, I don't know that I could have stuck this out for so long.

Thank you for telling me I'm not alone. There are not many posters in piecing and so the LBS look to us for direction. I often feel I should be more appreciative that he is back and working so hard. But I keep moving 3 steps forward and 2 steps back. I have a big wall up. A fierce wall with a lioness at the gate.

I think it's time I roll up my sleeves and tackle this chit a litttle harder. You are correct, this would not have happened if we were both happy. I think I was in a place where my "in love feelings" some how washed over what was wrong in the M. I wasn't the best partner and still have some changes to make. I had trouble seeing it because we had several hardships pre-BD that we were focused on in our families (death, mental illness, hardships, etc) AND he was king of the Nice Guy club, so i couldn't see him suffering. He didn't complain much, he grit his teeth. And there was OW--pursing, validating, bad mouthing me, and stroking his ego.

I am going to put myself out there and list a few of the things he brought up that were issues for him past and somewhat present:

1. I was controlling, even when he was being accomodating.
2. At times he felt like I talked down to him.
3. I created free time for myself and he wasn't able to do that.

That's a start. I know I need to work on these things.

It's a sunny day and we just took the dogs for a walk at the beach. Gotta run. Be back later. Keep it coming, I'm strong,I can take it!!!

Blu