Here's a link to the post my lovely:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2711276&page=1

I can also recall a book by Jean Safer being mentioned...not one I know though..

And the other thought is Dear Peggy on forgiveness.

I recall reading something she wrote. It went along the lines of - either way forgiveness needs to come. You may heal together and forgive. You may heal alone and forgive. But either way it will come...

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus