One more thing. The DB process is not about only ressurrecting marriages from the dead. The process is also effective in improving your current marriage. Now that things seem to have stabilized (as Im judging based on your comments), what changes can you continue to make to 'push her positive response' triggers?
How can you be stimulus for positive change?
The only thing I can think of, and have been doing, it to back her art business efforts and encourage her to be more self sufficient. It makes her feel better but the down side is that it's all in preperation to leave me. She would be gone now if she had the opportunity.
So you would describe yourself (I mean, previously) as 'unsupportive'? or 'controlling'? Im not sure. I wonder how you can apply these kinds of changes elsewhere besides only in her art activities.
Caliguy had a very interesting exercise I think you would get some benefit in trying. It goes like this:
Make three lists of 10 characteristics each. - List 1 is things that you dont like about yourself. What would you seek to change in yourself? I think I listed some of my things earlier in your thread. - List 2 is things that you admire in other men. What are characteristics of the ideal man, spouse, mate in your eyes? - List 3 is things you already like about yourself. If you were to design yourself from the ground up, what characteristics of yours would you keep?
Now, to look for inspiration for goals and positive changes, you can examine lists 1 and 2 and see how you can get them into list 3.
