One more thing. The DB process is not about only ressurrecting marriages from the dead. The process is also effective in improving your current marriage. Now that things seem to have stabilized (as Im judging based on your comments), what changes can you continue to make to 'push her positive response' triggers?
The DB process is not about only ressurrecting marriages from the dead
I do believe that many on here feel that it is and get discouraged.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
One more thing. The DB process is not about only ressurrecting marriages from the dead. The process is also effective in improving your current marriage. Now that things seem to have stabilized (as Im judging based on your comments), what changes can you continue to make to 'push her positive response' triggers?
How can you be stimulus for positive change?
The only thing I can think of, and have been doing, it to back her art business efforts and encourage her to be more self sufficient. It makes her feel better but the down side is that it's all in preperation to leave me. She would be gone now if she had the opportunity.
The only thing I can think of, and have been doing, it to back her art business efforts and encourage her to be more self sufficient. It makes her feel better but the down side is that it's all in preperation to leave me. She would be gone now if she had the opportunity
Let me ask you this, would you want her to stay if she didn't want to?
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
The only thing I can think of, and have been doing, it to back her art business efforts and encourage her to be more self sufficient. It makes her feel better but the down side is that it's all in preperation to leave me. She would be gone now if she had the opportunity
Let me ask you this, would you want her to stay if she didn't want to?
No, I want her to go if that is what she needs. I want her to fix things with me or to leave. she won't do either one. In my rare windows of opportunity to R talk with her I have made this clear. I was polite but firm. So far she will not pick.
I hear you Lex, I feel the same way at the moment even though mine moved out a year ago. I'm trying to push it forward and let her go like she wants and she is the one trying to slow it down but yet doesn't talk to me... I find it very frustrating time to be in but keep trying to concentrate on myself.
I bet she already has...she just doesn't want to be the one to pull the trigger.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
One more thing. The DB process is not about only ressurrecting marriages from the dead. The process is also effective in improving your current marriage. Now that things seem to have stabilized (as Im judging based on your comments), what changes can you continue to make to 'push her positive response' triggers?
How can you be stimulus for positive change?
The only thing I can think of, and have been doing, it to back her art business efforts and encourage her to be more self sufficient. It makes her feel better but the down side is that it's all in preperation to leave me. She would be gone now if she had the opportunity.
So you would describe yourself (I mean, previously) as 'unsupportive'? or 'controlling'? Im not sure. I wonder how you can apply these kinds of changes elsewhere besides only in her art activities.
Caliguy had a very interesting exercise I think you would get some benefit in trying. It goes like this:
Make three lists of 10 characteristics each. - List 1 is things that you dont like about yourself. What would you seek to change in yourself? I think I listed some of my things earlier in your thread. - List 2 is things that you admire in other men. What are characteristics of the ideal man, spouse, mate in your eyes? - List 3 is things you already like about yourself. If you were to design yourself from the ground up, what characteristics of yours would you keep?
Now, to look for inspiration for goals and positive changes, you can examine lists 1 and 2 and see how you can get them into list 3.
