WH came back. Piecing. Almost at 2 year mark.

[Coconut]

25yearsmlc, I wasn't able to pull your signature up in a quote, but I wanted to let you know that I've never heard truer words than "FORGIVENESS: Our way out of hell". In the past I wouldn't have gotten it, but after going through it, I get it.


(((Blu))) I wanted to let you know I stopped by and read the last two months or so of updates. I don't feel I have much to contribute because you have said you need to do what I also think you need to do (truly forgive him, fall in love with him again), but I admire your commitment, and his, to spend the time required for it to work.

OK, I just re-read your most recent update(and I do have something to say) about your husband being frustrated, and I understand his frustration. I bet he feels like this is you punishing him, slow and steady, for the bomb he dropped on you. Understand that there may (and likely will) come a time when he detaches lovingly and walks away.

Have you considered separation? I know you were separated for like a year before, but the choice wasn't yours and the circumstances were completely different. You frequently comment on how it's just nice to take a break from R talks and constantly working on the R. Maybe you need a real break from it, like a couple of months away from each other, the less you see or talk the better. It will really give you guys a chance to find yourselves and hopefully what you really want, instead of just fighting for the relationship everyday because it has become the new routine.

I only suggest this because you have been piecing for so long, I know piecing takes years, but you should constantly be moving forward and I fear you've been stuck on the forgiveness stage for a long time.

Take a break, enjoy yourself, decide if your hearts really in it, or if it's just convenience.

as for logistics, it's tough, but maybe you each could take back to back 2 week vacations and go away and visit family, then someone move out for a month or two (look at craigslist, maybe someone can sublease a place for a couple of months).. just a thought.