WH came back. Piecing. Almost at 2 year mark.

[25yearsmlc]

25yearsmlc, would love it if you would stop by and give me some feedback. I used to read your posts a couple years ago. I appreciate your advice and what you bring to the board. I recall that you and your H were split for some time and then made it work. Are you happier with him than before DB?


If the question is whether I was happier with him before he was a jerk, yes I was.

But if you are naming "DB" as an issue, I would say that DBing is a life approach in many respects, and I have no regrets there.

But no, 10 years later, no I am not now happier with h.

And I'm going to post my situation update soon.

Blu, I truly believe if my H had done the work your h is, and you really believe he means it, then it's about how you do the whole "forgiveness process." And that might be on you. Love is partly an act of choice and I think you may need date nights and romance to spark the fire *BUT* if that ignites other "stuff" for you, then maybe you need to figure out how to rid yourself of the PTSD affects of what you went through. It is absolutely a traumatic ordeal.


What specifically have you done to help let go of the sh!t you are replaying and feeling?


I am not even sure what I am asking for exactly. Most of the posters here are not in my sitch, are newly LBS, and it seems they even look to me for guidance. I know I could have done a better job at DB, but that is in the past now.

I would love to understand how you made it work again. How did you fall in love again? I just don't see that happening. Sometimes, like today, I wish he never came back. Sigh.


Thank you,
Blu

I don't know about the term "falling" in love as if it's an accident you hope will "happen to" you.

It takes effort but that doesn't undermine the magic of it. I still feel sparks for h. That might be a forever thing.

What was it like before, in terms of chemistry and what is it like now? What are the triggers that make you wish he never came back?

Can you be specific?