Job, you are right this is the best and safest place to journal my thoughts and I understand that to do this should be cathartic but sometimes I find it all so painful. I still feel so hurt by what H has done and I can't seem to get past that. I am also grateful for all your comments so please don't stop.
Interesting you should say that they seem to get sick more easily as H has had a couple of really bad bouts of flu since the beginning of the year and I've only had sniffles here and there that didn't amount to much. I did think I was gong to get H's flu the other day but it only lasted a day and then disappeared, phew!
About the photographs, there is another photo of the three of us that I can sneak out under the radar. I don't want to go too over the top though just in case it looks like a shrine to H! Do you think he might see it as pressure seeing photos of us as a family? My D says I shouldn't worry as he doesnt live here anymore so doesn't get a say in what we do.
Altair - yep, I am soo exhausted right now. I seem to have taken one step forward and three steps back with my emotions. Maybe because it's coming up to the one year mark? Exercise is going great and it helps because it's an hour of the day when I don't think of the sitch.
I must admit that Job is spot on when she says there is nothing you can do or say to change their minds and that they have to go through this journey. I get that now and that's what makes it so d&mn hard to deal with. It's definitely like the mountain analogy. Can't get around it, can't get over it so somehow I've got to get through it. However I've been thinking I need to use dynamite to blast my way through but that just isn't effective at all and makes him stand even stronger. I guess i just wait for the rocks to fall away little by little until I see a glimmer of the other side...
Happy Sunday everyone!
Me - 47 H - 45 D-16 M - 6 years Separated - May 16
Don't leave me behind can't you see me I'm shining... (Years & Years - 'Shine')
