Or involved with OM in any form? Brutal as those questions sound, they aren't. But they are honest ones.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Or involved with OM in any form? Brutal as those questions sound, they aren't. But they are honest ones.
I believe she cares, and I believe she did something that she felt extremely guilty for, which is why she went so hateful on me all of a sudden, to try to transfer her guilt to me. Or she just decided she was dumping me for this guy, hadn't done anything ultra bad with him yet (other than EA), and went super hateful on me just so that she could deal with leaving me. If you are ultra angry, it's hard to be sad.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
I'm tired of having my hopes dashed on this forum. I need something to hold on to, even if there isn't really any hope. It will help me ride this out. This place is called "Divorce Busting", not "Give Up And Get Over Them". This place is supposed to be focused on saving your marriage, no matter how far gone it is.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
Yes, but you're missing the main point. The only way you can possibly save it is by focusing on yourself, becoming a better you, for whatever life my bring.
Your old marriage is dead. You may have a new R or M with your wife, possibly. The techniques people describe here are to enable you to get to that point.
It's hard. Terribly hard. but until you make changes for you and only for you, your W will never believe they are true and permanent.
You read DB/DR - key message. Stop doing what isn't working.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
I don't know that she is sleeping with the OM, but he has visited her house at night until her bedtime.
Well, I think deep down you know what I'll say, so I will just leave it. It's not important anyway.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Also, people are not trying to dash your hopes. They're trying to help. They understand that it's difficult. They see us newcomer LBS going around, spinning, riding the rollercoaster, pursuing, enabling. They see it and want to help us.
They also know that we all have to make our own way through this thing. DB is no guarantee you can save your marriage, but it can certainly help save us as individuals. And by doing that, maybe we will indeed save our M?
We're rooting for you, Wish. Don't give up. It's not easy. There will be better days.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18
