Bird - I am so sorry this is happening. They do become so selfish and greedy during this time. It is hard to fathom. Hang in there. And like Gordie says, vent, vent, vent.
Peacetoday - I think you are so right about MLCers will either go up or go down. At least I really, really want to believe that. I know this sounds kinda mean, but there is a large part of me that wants my H to nosedive if we divorce. I hope his relationship with OW tanks, too.
My therapist told me that what he often sees is that the issues H has will come to the surface quicker in his subsequent relationships if he does nothing to work on them. He will put his defense up father and father out so when an issue comes up that is close to an issue we had, it will become a problem much sooner.
