It's funny. Last year I think that i too had the mind set of a walkaway. I was angry and filled with resentment. I fantasized about a better life with a better man and marriage. Lawyers weren't retained, Even though I was devastated, I had hope if not for my husband, for something better and was feeling ok about myself.
Right now, I'm in a bit of a funk. Now of course, how could I not be? I'm in the midst of the legal divorce process, I'm dealing with a son with special needs. I had an injury. I'm living with my parents. Reality has set in even more then in the past. I have so much to do, but I'm having trouble doing it. Whenever I see an email from my blood sucking attorney, my heart races and I don't want to respond.
I have to start over with the things that worked for me last year. 1. GAL. I have not done this and it impacted me. Tomorrow, I am getting dressed up and going out with friends for a birthday. This will be the first time in a long time. I feel good and hopeful when I socialize. I have been back to yoga pants mode and going under the radar and keeping to myself and this is not good for self esteem.
I have to balance this with my sons needs and that is not easy.
2. Exercise. I rejoined a gym and am slowly building back up.
3. I gained 7 lbs from my injury and really want that gone. I wish I could get back to where I was at initial BD. But that was actually a bit unhealthy. I would feel super confident with a 5 to 7 lb loss though.
4. Look into 2nd job when things calm down. I need to recuperate the loss in attorney bills. When we finish with all of sons testing I will have a better idea of my schedule.
5. I have to let go of harping over how unfair it is with ex. Life isn't fair. Ex is an @&$&. But that's the way it is. Move on.
