I popped my head into your thread early on and intended reading more and sharing some words with you. It is still on my to do list but you moving here has bumped that up. Action - reaction.That is how I see this process. Once we recover enough and are no longer spinning, we can take actions to move in the right direction. These actions cause opportunities to arise that move us forward. I am not claiming to be a vet or able to help you move forward, but I did think it was worth mentioning.
I agree with Sotto that it could help you get more replies if you posted a summary here. Not everyone spends hours a day here and you could miss some great advice/comments by some people not having the time to go through your previous threads in newcomers.
Anyway welcome to your new digs.
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together