WAS vs MLC..not sure it really makes a difference

[Sotto]

Lovely to see 25yearsmlc posting again - she is one of our wisest vets and was an inspiration to me on moving forward with my own life and rediscovering myself.

Okay - what has happened has happened and your H has shared some things. He is on a journey right now - and in many ways a positive one. Better to be looking at inward stuff than 'running' from yourself (ie: by having an A or whatever..)

However, he is also not saying positive stuff about the M right now and he doesn't sound to be in a place where he's considering reconciliation right now - that could change of course.

Your own desperate need for reassurance is what led you to prompt the contact I think. And that is something important to own and deal with. Why do I need this man so much? Am I okay alone for now? How can I make this okay for me - however things may unfold?

In your posts, your focus is all on your H - and it really does need to be on you. I promise you that if you can leave him be for now, and put your energy into your own life - it will serve you well, no matter how things unfold with your M.

In 25yearsmlc's case, she and her H were S for 2.5 years and she very much rebuilt her life, extending outside her comfort zone, building her confidence and living independently.

Apart from helping you see there is a good life beyond this marriage - it also helps adjust the power balance - ie: you have a good life anyway - and are not desperate to get back together at any cost.

So, what I'd really like you to do is outline some key goals just for you for 2017 and some early steps you're going to take towards these. And the goals should be all about you and the life you want to live going forward independent of your H - of course he may decide he wants to join the party again at some point..and that's up to him - and would be up to you too, if that happens..

Good luck with everything Skm... xx