You are right. Have to pull up my big-boy pants and move on. I know its the memory and not the real one I'm stuck on. One day at a time.
I tried not to think that way... pertaining to the big boy pants...
For me, when I would think that way, it would kind of invalidate everything that we once had. Made it meaningless in some small way.
I think that is is perfectly normal to think about that, and to get stuck on occasion.
Trick is, is to recognize stuck, and find a better way through it.
So you tried it this way, got stuck, and now you are going to redirect your path to get through.
What finally worked for me, was recognizing exactly who I was, and how I wanted to act, rather than react.
I decided that I would still live my vows, regardless what was going on around me.
I still loved the girl that walked down the aisle...( not so much the newer version)
I would still honor her decision, whatever it was ( and I didn't have to like it, just not to interfere with it)..
And I would always cherish the memories that we had created...(not tarnishing the past by invalidating it, rather embracing the past, and the life we had made. kids, family, etc..)
