You are right. Have to pull up my big-boy pants and move on. I know its the memory and not the real one I'm stuck on. One day at a time.
I tried not to think that way... pertaining to the big boy pants...
For me, when I would think that way, it would kind of invalidate everything that we once had. Made it meaningless in some small way.
I think that is is perfectly normal to think about that, and to get stuck on occasion.
Trick is, is to recognize stuck, and find a better way through it.
So you tried it this way, got stuck, and now you are going to redirect your path to get through.
What finally worked for me, was recognizing exactly who I was, and how I wanted to act, rather than react.
I decided that I would still live my vows, regardless what was going on around me.
I still loved the girl that walked down the aisle...( not so much the newer version)
I would still honor her decision, whatever it was ( and I didn't have to like it, just not to interfere with it)..
And I would always cherish the memories that we had created...(not tarnishing the past by invalidating it, rather embracing the past, and the life we had made. kids, family, etc..)
This afternoon has been much better than this morning. Maybe I worded the big boy pants wrong. But, you get the drift.
You are right. I had to look within to see what I am. I'm getting there. I know I can't compare her present self to the one I dated and married. I think that's one of the hardest parts.
And I don't recognize this new her - or is it this old her with the layers pulled back revealing her true self? Oh geez, its enough to give one a headache.
At the end of the day, this is about me and how I process things. I am starting to cherish and embrace the past...just that yesterday and today weren't particularly good ones.
It's like the ocean...all comes in waves.
Thank you so much, my friend.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
And I don't recognize this new her - or is it this old her with the layers pulled back revealing her true self? Oh geez, its enough to give one a headache.
At the end of the day, this is about me and how I process things. I am starting to cherish and embrace the past...just that yesterday and today weren't particularly good ones.
It's like the ocean...all comes in waves.
Thank you so much, my friend.
Absolutely, it's hard...
Just keep in mind, that you ARE gonna miss her...
You ARE gonna miss the connection from years ago..
You ARE gonna bounce around emotionally..
It is part of the grieving process...
What you are also gonna do, is to find a perspective on it.
The rose glasses aren't going to show you down the road, the same things that they did even as recent as a few weeks ago.
The heat has been turned up a bit recently for you. Details, signing things....
Those are always triggers for a person to feel like a victim in this...
And even though you did not choose this, it doesn't mean that you can't go through it with Dignity, Honor and Grace...
The rose glasses aren't going to show you down the road, the same things that they did even as recent as a few weeks ago.
Wise, wise words. Thanks!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Much, much better start to the day. The sun is shining, my kids are happy - what more could ask for? Great start.
It took me a while to recognize what was happening the past few days and to compartmentalize things. Back on track and back to the old Jeep!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
The winds are fair and so are the seas. I got this.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Jeep, Just reading back over your last few days.... I just want to encourage you to turn your face into those fair winds and let the breeze comfort you. You are SUCH A STRONG ROLE MODEL and you have the gift of encouragement, especially with others on your same path. You call a spade a spade, and that's also a gift. You seem to be back up on the horse, so keep your head high and be proud of where you've clawed your way back from- and remember, we are all just walking each other home. Hugs!
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Thank you for the kind words and encouragement. Its been a battle lately and I thought a losing one at that, but I'm back on my horse and feel much better. Maybe those down times are starting to wither away now. They say once the divorce is done and done, that one feels better. We shall see.
Thanks again, my friend. If you want to join us over in TW, let me know.
Originally Posted By: leahsue
Jeep, Just reading back over your last few days.... I just want to encourage you to turn your face into those fair winds and let the breeze comfort you. You are SUCH A STRONG ROLE MODEL and you have the gift of encouragement, especially with others on your same path. You call a spade a spade, and that's also a gift. You seem to be back up on the horse, so keep your head high and be proud of where you've clawed your way back from- and remember, we are all just walking each other home. Hugs!
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
