Moored

[roist]

Growing up I often heard the expression that life begins at 40. I used to think it was "old"people trying to make themselves feel better about being" old". I suppose historically speaking people got married and had kids in their early 20s and when those kids reached adulthood/ maturity the parents tended to be around 40.

Nowadays I think we have kids later but mlc can replace the empty nest phase. Where I live now it is literally translated as the crisis of the 40's.


But all of that is a side note on what I planned to say. Most people can remain relatively healthy and active into their 70s and beyond. I am sure the stresses accumulated over the last few years may have taken affect on you but you are not old. I'm saying this to me too. Ultimately we decide how we are going to live. I want a better more full filling life and I know I will achieve that. Our situations do restrain us but we really do have the power to minimise that and live fuller.

At times in the past I have felt this restriction due to my M situation.It was oppressing. I was growing and I felt this was containing me. Now I no longer feel that way. Either the cage has expanded of I have learned that I placed most of the bars in that cage myself. Either way I feel I can do so much more regardless of my situation. Although I am at this 2.5 years in some ways I feel I am only starting to really grow. I am excited for where it will lead me. I wish the same for you.

Those being ignored moments are terrible. At least you have a sanctuary by having your own room and H hides most of the time in his. Still they do feel disrespectful and it is. But what helps me is believing it is not: intentional nor personal against me even though she is v affectionate with our kids. But she is doing the best she can, just as your H is. Believe that.

As you well know his comments about being middle again d stem more from his insecurities about it rather than his assessment of you. I admire you resisting the urge to clobber him but instead respond lightheartedly with a smile. Not reacting negatively greatly improves interactions or at least prevents them getting worse. Just as powerful is not letting it affect you and when it does to be able to shrug it off quickly. Your thread is a great example to newbies and everyone else on how to do those things.

My W hates GPS too. I used my phone one on a recent trip. My W is usua a very good co-pilot (at least for map reading and giving directions, not so much for criticising my driving- oh I have so much room to improve!!)But the last time we took the trip we missed a turn and added an hour to get back on track. I was proud to not criticise my co-pilot and remained calm. The GPS did give some directions last minute but never sent us wrong the whole weekend. W changed her usually critical opinion of GPS being crap to just her still not liking them!! I explained to my phone not to take her comments personally. Haha.

With BD anniversary looming, are you going to repeat your getaway weekend? Maybe before you needed it and now you don't. But I am sure a mini break would be great for you to recharge.

Best wishes