my wife can't decide (II)

[Vanilla]

Will

Whatever you concentrate on gets bigger. In my sitch there were at least 9 OW or POW. Some of them unknowing that WH (as was) was M. Others just horrible horrible peeps.

I have no sympathy for OP of any kind. And knickers don't just fall off. It takes planning and scheming to have an A. And if they will have an A with you then they will have an A when they are R with you.

Ridiculous.

Concentrating on the details of it won't help though. Not in any way, I do believe in Intel, the existance of an R and if possible who is in the A. Frankly knowing how many times they pick each others noses and with which bodily flUids only helps in fault D.

Keep a detailed log of it, write the facts of it down and journal the emotion here.

You ask what helped?

1 TED Talks Brene Brown, over and over
2. Mind mapping and looking at MY GOALS
3. Exercise and weight loss. So far 45lbs another 15lbs to go
4. If you read my early sitch GAL, I GAL like the best
5. Extreme self care including medical help and IC
6. Mindfulness, tried several apps and in the end settled for just various U tube
7. AL Turtle, I devoured his stuff on boundaries
8. Any book recommended here as helpful to anyone- some inspirational and some just bizarre in their theories
9. Reading about abuse and D
10. Zelda, Greengrass, Ancaire, Mutatio, Pigpen, Joe, Sandi, MrBond, Wonka, Dawn....... and loads more, my tribe here plus Vets
11. My higher power and resolving my own FOO (thank you Mutatio for walking that path with me, Pyrite, Whyus) finding out about ACES
12. CBT and NLP for my complex PTSD
13. Nutritional help
14. Inside Out (the film)
15. Having Sandi guide rules printed and laminated

..............

There are ways and means of recovering and developing yourself.

That is the focus, you on you. I read the hurt and pain, I read the down and blues. That is an extra difficulty Will. You are in the right place here. There are wonderful posters and your tribe who will guide you. Look to those further along the path and know that becoming the best you can be is a wonderful achievement.

It's ok, you are doing fine.

V