Ugh. I feel myself spiraling now. And those damn what-ifs...our own gateway into hell. Why couldn't she have had a normal childhood that was absent all the abuse?
Jeep, the question of "Why couldn't she have had a normal childhood?" ... a similar question applies to us as well: "Why couldn't we have had a normal marriage?"
Just as our ex's didn't deserve to be abused, we didn't deserved to be married to them and suffer the ramifications of their emotional problems. They were damaged by their abuse, and we were, by entangling ourselves with them for many years, by giving ourselves to them, affected by the reverberations of their problems.
I can't answer the "why?" but I do know the only way forward is to let it go, close that door, burn that bridge. Stop the co-dependency, that desire to be the rescuer, the fixer.
You know this. I know this. Just so hard to do.
The point I'm making is, the questions you want to throw at your ex, throw it at yourself, because you can't save her; you can only save yourself.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
