Rouky,

It sounds like your head and heart are spinning with all of these negative thoughts and questions. We all go through these periods. In addition to speaking to your IC, do you have activities that you can do by yourself or with others that will give you relief? Here's what works for me: prayer, meditation, venting with a couple of my really close buddies. Take care of yourself, accept that you feel terrible right now (and vent), but also that feelings are temporary, and believe that you will get through it.


Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids
2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong
2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2
2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving