I guess as time has passed, I look back and would have been much more assertive about some of the 'spending' areas.

Firstly, and if I'm playing devils advocate, I would say - do you know he was taking her to the movies? However, if you are concerned about the joint account being used for social expenses, you could ask him only to use if for X and Y...

In my case, XH spent �1000's visiting OW who was transatlantic (during our separation) and helping (financially) her move away from her 'controlling' boyfriend. But I let that go in our D settlement - largely because I still hoped to save the marriage and I was pretty comfortable anyway. But I look back now and I do see the behaviour as pretty outrageous and I guess I would like to have been a bit more robust on calling it out.

But that's just me talking from where I am now I guess smile

Sounds as though you are pretty grounded and that's no mean feat in these circumstances....xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus