Hi Roist, I think you are doing well and you certainly come across as a wise and pretty much together Guy...ie: already someone only a fool might leave..

On the boundaries front - yes that's also a work in progress for me and I feel I'm a rabbit in the headlights when the moment for a boundary comes, then I ruminate and then place the boundary.

Recent example - My Dad sometimes asks for things in what I feel is an imperious tone and it really gets on my nerves. For example he recently wanted me to get something from the store for him. No problem and I'm happy to help, but it's the way he asks. Instead of saying - would you mind picking up X for me he says (in headmaster tone) - I need you to get X for me.

So - last time he said that I managed to say (in a light tone) - Dad, I'm always happy to help, but remember to ask nicely! The best I could come up with really and he did catch himself, so I guess that worked...

No other wisdom to offer - other than saying - kudos to you for investing what you have and being willing to revisit, review and investing the energy. If my XH had done even 50% of that, I'd have been pretty happy.

Xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus