Hi FightOn, I'm so sorry to hear about your brother and sister in law - I too feel that pain and it does take me back to 'the worst time'

As for how you feel about your H and his current level of insight - I would agree that the best thing would be to absolutely let that go. He will have his own 'take' on what is happening just as you have yours based on where you are both 'at.'

From what I see, your efforts to try and 'make him see' that situation how you see it are you still hoping and trying to control what he does and how he sees things. And that's the part to let go of I think. He will see what he sees when he sees it....

I understand seeing other families and feeling others are happy. Though in truth, people all have their own trials and challenges and it can help to remember that our mind can distort these thoughts - ie: everyone else here is so happy whilst I'm....

I found the Guy Winch TED talk on emotional first aid helpful and it's certainly worth a listen...

It really is best to accept that your H is on his own path as you are on yours. Work on the parts that you own and that will help you in your own life going forward. Keeping our focus on ourselves takes time to achieve but we can all get there with gentle and persistent effort.

Take care and I know none of this is easy (major understatement!!) but you are doing well.

smile xx

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus