That's a really kind message you've sent. I don't know how you strike that balance though - moving on and keeping that door open. For me, it takes effort and time to keep that door open, because I have to be pleasant to him, which is a total 180 for me now because all I want to do is never ever see his face again, hear his name again. Just seeing his email address in my inbox makes me feel lousy. I can't believe I had a kid with this jerk.
I've started with a new counsellor and after the first session she said, given my description of our history together, that he was checked out of the marriage many years ago, as far back as 2010, when he was, in her words, already in an 'open relationship'. That staggered me. I was so naive I believed everything he said about being sorry and never doing it again. Not only has he done it again, but ramped it up a few notches.
Do you mind me asking if you are open to reconciliation? I feel I am at a crossroads now. Just as WH has rewritten history, I feel I have a choice to reinterpret things myself. All this time I was operating on the basis that WH is a good man doing a bad thing. And that he did love me once. After this session with the counsellor, I am struggling because she's made me reconsider this. I think WH is more weak than I ever imagined, and he never really loved me. He was in limerance with me, and then when that wore off we were already married and he didn't know how to extricate himself, hence all the exit affairs.
Si_07 - I would LOVE to hear from you about this when you have time. I've not met anyone else in my sitch before.
Jeep - I would go back home in a heartbeat. When WH's double life was revealed I automatically made plans to do so. My prospects in my home country are much better than they are here - I have the networks there and went to the right schools, which means something there but not here where I am. Financially, emotionally, psychologically I would be better off. The only reason why I am staying is so my son can see his father on a regular basis, i.e. several times a week instead of having to go a few months apart.
