No fault state here as well.. mainly just that confirmation for myself.. and a piece if I needed to confirm to any else.. which really doesn't matter as those that i know cared already saw what was going on before and had concern.. The ones that she surrounds herself with now are ok with the A happening and the Sep and D.. because they have all been D themselves! ugh...
I keep chugging along with my kiddos.. they keep me heading on the right path to bettering myself and keep me leveled on this plane.. without them I don't know where I would be. The problem is I cannot go full NC though as conversations happen about them with the STBXW...I still am not fond of that acronym.. Everytime we talk even if its about the kids brings up memories and feels just like we are still together.. it [censored] as I know I can't trust her words..
Had a Bday over the weekend as well and spent time with friends and family which was nice, they made a big deal out of it but its just another day to me.. she never directly said Happy Bday to me.. although at the end of the night she asked if her and the kids could bring by a gift from them in the morning and it sounded like she sang happy bday with them over the phone which was nice.. but again, words not actions...
My mind was racing this morning with thoughts of things I wished I could say to her, things that before would mean something, or so I thought would mean something.. I try to remain strong, its the weeks I don't have the kids with me that I slip as they usually keep me busy enough to not think about it..
