Her MLC: The Battle I Didn't Choose

[Brubeck]

W's lawyer filed another motion last week. It was a court order for me to seek employment. At the time of its filing, I had been searching for a job for 1 month. I had already been on 2 interviews. I spend a minimum of 2 hours each morning submitting my resume online to companies. W knows this. She knows every bit of this. She still had her lawyer file this useless motion. I don't know why.

I asked her why she would authorize such a thing. I stated the aforementioned facts about going on 2 interviews and working online daily. I told her this was useless paperwork and that she's running up a huge legal bill for both of us. She just shrugged and said the lawyer initially suggested this as a back-up plan but "went ahead and sent the order in anyway". I know this is a lie. My L's office verifies any activity from me beforehand.

Half of my 2nd retainer is already used up dealing with this crap. I will probably have to put down another retainer in a few months. I am contemplating the possibility that filing for bankruptcy may be in my future.

I reported to my lawyer's office 2 weeks ago that W has a private checking/savings account that I know nothing about and have no access to. If I have to disclose all my income - and share half after bill payments - as part of the financial restraining order, why does she get to keep her account private? They said they'd get back to me. It's been two weeks.

Another wrinkle. I checked the joint account this weekend and W has just made a payment of $200 towards a credit card in her name. I know nothing of any credit card she has, so this card is new and for her personal use and violates the terms of our financial restraining order.

I've been 2 months unemployed now. W lays in bed all day and night clutching her cell phone for conversation or video games. She's up until 2 am every night watching television shows and often sleeps in her clothes.

She has gotten nicer and more affectionate with the boys lately, but there are still moments where she turns on them in a heartbeat.

Friday morning I am getting ready for a job interview. The bathroom sink is clogged up. I tell W I will fix it when I return. I get home and find a plunger in the bath tub. I enter the kids room where she's on the phone. I stand in the doorway, I don't interrupt, and I wait to be acknowledged by her. She tells the person on the other line to hold on.

M: "I saw a plunger in the bath tub. Did something else go wrong?"

W: "The sink is clogged."

M: "Yes, I know. Did something else get clogged while I was out?"

W: "No, I was trying to plunge the bathroom sink."

M: "Oh, OK."

I turn around to leave. She snaps - "OK, bye!"

I have reduced my contact with her to only absolute necessities - household needs, the kids, and budget. Even with just talking about these necessary things, she finds ways to get nasty.

The next day, I am running cleaner through the bathroom sink. She says we should just call a plumber. I remind her that we just spent $260 after the holidays fixing the shower and if we can drain the sink without calling a plumber, I'd rather do it that way. Besides, it's Saturday and we might have to wait until Monday anyway. Oh yeah, I am freaking unemployed.

She snaps again, speaking very rapidly - "I don't want to sit around watching you check out YouTube videos all day on how to fix this yourself. How about if I just call my lawyer and have her file a motion that orders you to fix the sink? How about we do it that way? I don't wanna wait around forever while you figure out how this works." She leaves.

I relay both stories to my mother and my friend MW. They are both flabbergasted. They don't understand how I can still live there.