I'm sorry for everything you've been going through, Jeep.
There's no magic button to push to help you stop loving the person you chose to spend your life with even if they've treated you poorly. There's no set time frame for which you need to move past it. You will in your own time. When you're ready.
I hope for better days ahead for all of us.
M:41 H:43 T:26yrs M:19 yrs S:15 D1:14 D2:9 Living together but separated