Same Sitch. New Approach. Motivated. Feeling Good.

[fightin]

But regardless of who did what, the problems on my side need fixing. Will fixing them save my marriage? The jury is still out on that one. But the fixing needs to happen anyway. So MY 180 is to put myself last. Do things for my W and my family that have no expectations attached to them. Be aggressive in taking on projects and responsibilities around the house. Be happy, encouraging, and generally interested in my W and what she's up to. Be helpful. Treat her the way I want to be treated. Meanwhile, I don't pursue or discuss the relationship at all. And when I start to feel resentful or burned out, I turn to my GAL activities.

YAY! I haven't checked in with you for a while, but I can see the change in your tone in your posts. I will say that I disagree with your line about putting yourself last by taking initiative with responsibilities and with your attitude towards your WW. I think while it might seem on the surface that you're putting yourself last that you're actually doing things that will make you genuinely feel good about yourself regardless of your W's response.

Maybe that's how you meant it, but I don't want you to sell yourself short on the benefits to yourself that these changes can provide.

So I guess my point is that right now I'm very much at peace with how I'm moving forward.

Happy for you! Keep it up!