To be quite honest I pretty much had let her go on her own journey other than telling her that I would not be a part of it which caused the position we are in now of her "being open to counseling".
If you still know when she is contacting OM, then she isnt on her own journey.
Originally Posted By: Laowai
the BEST choice for me is to tell her that I am done and wish for her to no longer contact me. I understand everyone here says show her with actions, but I disagree with this. I will not intentionally ignore someone without TELLING them why I am doing so...not because I owe her an explanation, but because my conscience won't allow me to do this.
If you want to send her a no contact letter, then fine, go ahead and do it. But, to me, that seems unnecessary. YOU are making a choice to go to counseling and such. All you can control is what is in your sphere. To me, explaining the reasons behind no contact is only being done so that you can get her to try to pursue you.
To be fair, I do still have the ability to determine when she is contacting OM. I hadn't done it for months unitl she asked me to go to counseling and told me that she had discontinued communication with him. Seeing as trust is a big issue (and most counselors DEMAND the LBS be able to access all forms of communication) I chose to do a little digging at random times to see if she was still contacting him. This was more for myself to know if there was even an ounce of "trustworthiness" there right now.
As I stated, I understand the premise of letting your actions speak. I also understand how strongly YOU feel on this based off of reading almost all of your posts lol.
