Man, what would lead a person to be someone's best friend and lover for 10 years, being very good to that person throughout that time period, to just all of a sudden cut the person out of their lives and sever all ties and affection? That's cruel. I could never do that to someone.
Here's the problem with your thinking.
It wasnt 'all of a sudden'. It may seem that way to you, but it was definitely not for her.
In my opinion, she has been hurt and disappointed and frustrated for years. Sure, you may say she should have told you, but I'm guessing she did somehow. I know my ex did. But I wasnt able to listen, to receive it, to understand it. I attributed it to 'normalcy'...to stuff every couple deals with. To life.
It didnt really become serious to me until action was taken. Until I was told "I want to separate as a way of preparing for divorce. You know what I did? I thought to myself 'why dont I deserve another chance? Why are you springing this on me? Im sure I can do better; why wont you work with me?"
Of course, by this time, AP was in the picture and it was full steam ahead on the D train.
Ive thought of this phenomenon as ice freezing upwards. Imagine your wife as a lake that is slowly freezing from the bottom up. You arent going to notice the trouble until that last layer freezes and the top surface is ice. But over the years, the ice has been accumulating, and what you see as the top freezing over is a giant block of ice.
So, like Ive said to you before, how can you change your perspective to be focused back on what you need to do instead of trying to thaw her? Thats like going out onto that lake and trying to thaw it with a hair dryer!
