No, its not the seeing her. I sort of see her every night when she skypes with the kids. I think its the fact that this is the final part...the final dealing. For some reason, it's bothering me today. Even after everything she's done, it still bothers me some.
Ugh, I just started my D process so I'm sure its tough! I can't imagine how I'm going to feel at the first court appearance let alone the final one...sigh.
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Cutting off the sources of the birdies is difficult, very difficult. She wouldn't Skype last weekend as she was out on a date. Oh well. I've asked one of the birdies that I just didn't want to hear it anymore...however, I have one birdy I won't stop, and that's the one remaining ally in her camp. This person knows it all - the entire truth about the ex, yet doesn't really talk to the ex. See, they define the word dysfunctional. But, through that one, I get little warnings...lately they are chirping about some plans the ex and the sister have concerning the kids. UGH.
Can't Skype with her kids because the date with the OM is more important. Putting the OM before their children....sounds all too familiar. Well maybe its good you keep the little birdie if they are warning you about the children. I just hope that whatever she is planning doesn't involve her trying to take them from you or in any way alienate them from you. That would be infuriating! From what I have read it has been you that stepped up to raise those children so I hope my assumptions are wrong. Regardless, those kids will know and come to thank you for being there for them when they get older. Just keep being the good dad that you are no matter what she is planning.
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
Ugh, I just started my D process so I'm sure its tough! I can't imagine how I'm going to feel at the first court appearance let alone the final one...sigh.
Court will be a lot more emotional than you will think - well, for you that is. The other? Not so much. That's when the real finality of it starts to sink in...I say real finality because then it becomes all too real and the hoping one has done flies out the window. And to make it worse, sometimes they sit there with a smug look. Gah.
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Can't Skype with her kids because the date with the OM is more important. Putting the OM before their children....sounds all too familiar. Well maybe its good you keep the little birdie if they are warning you about the children. I just hope that whatever she is planning doesn't involve her trying to take them from you or in any way alienate them from you. That would be infuriating! From what I have read it has been you that stepped up to raise those children so I hope my assumptions are wrong. Regardless, those kids will know and come to thank you for being there for them when they get older. Just keep being the good dad that you are no matter what she is planning.
Parental alienation has already started, my friend. The fact that she only sees them two weekends a month has her family in an uproar...somehow they blame me even though she signed the custody agreement and its done and sealed.
I try so hard to be a good Dad for them. They are as much my rock as I am theirs. What makes me the angriest, though, is her repeatedly saying this is the best for the children. Divorce is quite common in the military and she has her friends - and the batshit crazy family - telling her that this is the best for the kids. I try so hard, my friend.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
The fact that she only sees them two weekends a month has her family in an uproar...somehow they blame me even though she signed the custody agreement and its done and sealed.
I try so hard to be a good Dad for them. They are as much my rock as I am theirs.
Jeep - you have your kids every week day? If so, way to be a rockstar dad! Kudos for you. I'd shake your hand if i could.
M:39 W:36 - D1:2 D2:6 11/19/16 BD1: ILYBNILWY, EA/PA Dec/Jan: MC, pursuing, not DBing 1/11/17 BD2: W wants 1 month break 2/1/17: Divorce Remedy. Start DBing 2/17/17 BD3: W - separation to start D process
I have them all but four days a month when it comes down to it. Even when we were married, her job dictated that I take them/get them, etc., ever since they both were born. Sort of primary caregiver, I guess.
I try so hard, man. So hard.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Yes Jeep, kudos to you sir! There aren't too many men out there that would step up and be a full time father like you have. I know how difficult it is to be a single dad and raising kids on your own, but keep up the good work!
M: 37 W: 36 T: 16 M: 11 D2: 8,3 PA: 2015 WAW: 2016 W Filed: 2017 2/07/2017 W officially dating OM2
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I concur with the other posters. It says a lot about your character to step up to be the primary caregiver for your children. It is quite impressive.
Wishing you all the best regarding tomorrow. Keep your head up, shoulders back and do your best to operate with confidence when you walk into that court room. I believe you will, especially for your children given what I just read in your thread.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
For all intents, the divorce is already done...it's all been signed. Custody, all...that can't be changed. Just shoring up some financial she's been balking at. I could have gotten full primary and was originally, but then I thought of the kids. After she retires and moves back, our custody will change a little...just because the kids love and believe in her. There are stipulations put in, but I feel that in her own way she loves them, too. I won't ever deny them their mom because of us - even as much as it hurts me to not have them in the house. However, things will change quick if she reverts and doesn't act in their best interest...to include parental alienation.
You know something, I love having my kids with me so much I can't even describe it. They are my rock, too.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I went against everything that I say and gave it one last shot, even though everything's done. I guess I still love her...I guess it's the way her past made her run. Whatever it was, I tried one last time. I guess I wasn't ready to put her away yet.
But she shot it down, quick like. No explanation, although I didn't expect one. Just no. I think the hardest part of it all is that there was no real reason as to why, well none that she could give anyway. Her affair, all of it. No remorse, even though I know better than to expect any.
This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to go through - I'm not going to lie. In less than two hours I'll be in the court for the last time. The finality of it all is the worst. It wasn't supposed to happen like this, you know?
I know I'm not supposed to care after all that's happened and look at it like a business deal, but I can't just go business today. Part still cares. Part of me died last night.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
