WAW and the Big D

[Bdog37]

This is just incredible. I am part to blame by trusting her (why would I not trust her) with our finances. I just can't believe all this.... I couldn't believe that someone who loved you could actually cheat on you, but now I can't believe she could stoop so low to do things like this. D brings out the worst in people!! This all reminds me of how people react when there is a death in the family and they dig their hands in to get whatever possessions/money they can without caring about the feelings of others. I have actually witnessed that scenario in multiple family's so since D can be considered a death, then I shouldn't be surprised on what she is doing.

Then there are the lies she is spreading to her family and friends. I could understand if any little bit of it was true, but the things she is saying make me seriously want to call these people up and let them know how bad she is lying. She is telling a lot of these people that I am a bad father I am and how she is going after full custody.... (that part makes me literally tear up because my children are my life). How can anybody do this???? I was not a bad husband or father!! I did not verbally or physically abuse her, I have always held a job and supported our family, I have always...always supported her ambitions by helping her with schooling etc, I have always show my love the best I could, listened while she vented about work and other stressful related issues, and I probably could go on. I literally took care of our first born by myself. Everyone who knows me personally couldn't believe how I allowed my W to go out every weekend while I stayed at home with my baby girl. So how the hell can she tell me that the worst thing I did in our M was to neglect family time with her and the kids? Yes, I became selfish in my own ways and quit going to every single event, party, carnival, etc, but how does that merit doing such horrible and unspeakable things to the person you chose to marry!!!!

I really want to wake up from this nightmare someday because sometimes it is too hard to bare. I am pretty sure that I will never get over this and even though I am angry I am also terrible hurt. Hurt that she has become a monster...the woman I loved, married, had children with, pictured to spend the rest of my life with....sigh.

I think my day of venting is done and I'm going to spend the rest of my afternoon canceling these credit cards. Hopefully some good news will come to me tomorrow.