Loosening My Grip

[skyhigh]

I am so sorry he is treating you that way, I know too well how it feels, my WH used to behave exactly the same, he was on his own agenda only. Sadly there is nothing you can do to make him see your point of view. He will resent you for everything you will say or do that engrave his schedule.

My own way of dealing with him when he was behaving so selfishly was just to live as a single mom, I didn't count on him for anything. If the kids had an event I used to mention it to him, but I stopped asking him if he wanted to come/participate and if I needed the kids to be watch I used to find a solution by myself. I made sure not to make any comments on it. I wanted him to know that the kids and I could live/thrive without him.

Since he wanted some space, I gave him some space but with boundaries. At least he couldn't accuse me anymore of controlling his free time.

Stop thinking you can make him see the situation the way you are seeing it, it won't work.

No you are not selfish to want some recognition but MLCers don't care about their LBS feelings at all. It's hard to wrap our mind around that concept but sadly it's the reality.

Also I made sure to never ask him about his own schedule which gave me the advantage of not sharing my schedule, this allowed me to detach and Gal even better. I stopped being the pursuer, it doesn't mean it was not itching me to ask him what were his plan or to feel sad/depressed but at least we had fewer arguments which made our cohabitation more liveable for me and the kids.

I stopped being a beggar for his attention.

MLC is a journey, there is no shortcut, not magic potion, time is our best ally is we can manage it wisely.

I totally understand/feel your pain and your frustration I went though that phase. Take care of yourself and your son, make sure that your interests are fully protected.
Surround yourself with good friends, it's very important to feel being loved and worthy.

Your worth is not related to him. You are lovable. I know very well how they can destroy our self esteem and make us doubt ourself on a constant basis.