Well, I have been thinking, ALOT. I also continue reminding myself the Woman I loved and married is no longer. I am reminded everyday of this stranger that is legally my Wife. However I do not like her, at all. I am ready to move on. I am ready to get the Divorce paperwork. I asked STBXW to take her cell phone lines by yesterday, no response. This morning I called cell phone company and applied a verbal password, blocked all internet access, removed her name and email from any association. I didn’t tell her though, there’s no need to communicate, I asked her to take her lines, she didn’t. The next step is suspending her line. I will do that Monday If she’s still on my account. I will give her the weekend to figure stuff out.
The other day after my please get off the cell phone bill, STBXW sent me a text that she was on her way to the bank to close the joint bank account because she could no longer be “responsible” and wanted no association with it. We used to both work at a bank and I had a couple of charges pending (coffee and stuff) so I knew she could not close it. As did she. I believe her account text was just to get on my nerves or something. I didn’t react. Just ignored. No skin off my back.
I was talking to my coworker who’s been an amazing support, he reminded me of how stbxw acted out when she was not in control in the beginning. As well as now. She’s kind of a jerk. I didn’t expect a thank you or a cookie for allowing taxes jointly, or even keeping her cell this long (not paying, just allowing the same plan) but geez, how does one go through life just taking and taking from others? Ungrateful. It’s unbelievable. Also a friend told me it shows stbxw’s true character and she pointed out acting like a jerk back won’t get me closer to my previous goal (softening my W’s heart) but being nice wont either. So I do things, like filing taxes to help her because I want to. I changed my passwords because I want to. I cancelled her cable because I wanted off the bills. Not because I was mad, or because I was trying to retaliate, I did things because they make me feel better. Less stressed. Though, I know in stbxw's eyes, I’m being a jerk. At this point it’s not my responsibility to make her life easier, or harder, or really care about it. Her circus, her monkeys.
I also filled out paperwork to change my beneficiaries from my insurance. As well as the EFT account to my Sole checking. I felt really good. I am ready to get the divorce paperwork. I am ready to close this chapter of my life. I want to move on.
This current woman is not the one for me. I do not like her, trust her, or have any positive feelings toward her. That woman is a stranger. The woman I married, loved, shared 6 beautiful years with and a child with is long gone. Left for her nursing school trip and NEVER returned. This is MY reality.
