WAW had an affair - hurt and confused

[Husky]

...just one more thing to remember. I always found that when my XW was "softening/validating/etc," that she was truly feeling guilty about the hell she was putting me through. It became plainly obvious in the hours/days after we'd talk, she would then get EXTREMELY mad at me for having "made her" feel guilty...even though I wasn't doing anything of the sort.

R talks for you right now are NOT going to help...she'll just blame you for "making" her feel bad about her decisions, and that's utterly intolerable for her. It's a no win situation.